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Burma Shave - Past Winners

An Internet Contest

Signs of the Week

Contest

War of the Minds - Another Internet Contest



Whiskers used to
Hide his pearls.
Now his grin
Is Wowing
Girls.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Shave your chin,
And place the fiddle.
Roll a reel,
And stump
A little...
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Holger Chr. Sjåvik - Holger, Norway


A beard as thick
As grizzly fur,
May keep you warm,
But, Son,
Not her!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Kelly Parker - Oxford, GA


Grampa knows
It ain't too late.
He's gone to get
Some
Widder bait!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Consuelo


Stop all those
Unwanted litters.
Spay and neuter
Your pet
Critters.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Clairyce


If on a trip
You travel far
Don't forget
to take your jar
of
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Perry Valley


You won't hear
your honey whistle
unless you shave
that 5 o'clock
bristle!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Janine Talbot


Time for summer.
Time to swim.
Time to give,
Your beard,
A trim!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Kyra age 16


Let it grow.
The stubble's fine.
If you want,
to date a
Porcupine!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Mike Wheeler


Telly Savalas,
Kojak star,
Took our concept
A bit
Too far!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: David Baker


If you still believe
In brush and foam
Your lights are on
But you ain't home
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Mo Jo Thomson


The candidate
To gain perfection,
Found this jar,
Helped his
Election!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Aaron Foutnier


Driving late?
Are you tired?
Drink some coffee!
You'll be wired!!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Nate Stickney and Nick Garcia


Don't over rate
Your driving skills.
It's the driver,
Not the car,
That kills!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Eyes On The Road
Hands On The Wheel
You Control
2 Tons
Of Steel
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Tom Smith.


Rough and Scratchy
Got no kisses.
Nice and Smooth
has a
Mrs.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Janice Cain, Nashville, TN.


Five o'clock shadow
At nine a.m.?
Looks like
You need
A closer trim!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Charlie & Margie Hare.


Soft as silk...
Nice and clean...
The smoothest shave...
You've ever
seen!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Steve Perroni.


If your whiskers
misbehave,
keep them
tame
with
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Cheryl D.


To drive with food,
one has to yield,
or eat it off
the front
windshield!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Kyra age 15


Don't drive
While Using
A mobile Phone!
The number called,
Might be your own!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


To read this ad
One must not swerve.
Eyes on the road
You'll miss
The curve!!!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Kyle Hibbs (Louisville)


The one who drives
Fast asleep,
is now
buried
six feet deep.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Bob Young


Prince Charming shaved
his royal do'
And won
a princess,
so can you!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Barbara Toby Baruch


Clear to see,
Smooth to touch,
Sweetie
Loves it
Oh, so much.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Linda


We've developed
Smarter rockets.
They zap whiskers,
Never
Pockets.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Stay alert.
Don't go to sleep,
or you'll,
end up,
Six feet deep!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: jkoppang@aol.com


The Soviets got rid,
of all their missles.
Do the same,
with all,
YOUR bristles.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Stephen Wilson (NC SNA)


We shaved Grandpa.
We shaved Dad.
Soon we'll start,
To shave
The Lad.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Drinkin' all day,
You've got a buzz.
If you want a girl,
You'll lose
That fuzz.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Charles Webb


Using the best
Is common-sense
Dollar performance
For 50 cents!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Electric razors
are just a phase
I prefer
the glory days
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Rex St. John - Spencer IN


Everyone travels
Forward in time
But one came back
To give us
This rhyme
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Hey there buddy,
Lookee here!
While off the muddy
Road
You veer!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: clangley.


Lost his gal.
She was
A pin-up!
Seems he couldn't
Keep his
Chin up.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Russ Carr.


Hot as Hades,
summer simmers!
Close-shaven guys
Come out
The winners!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Susan G. Rager.
Northern Neck of Virginia Law Page


White words on red
In groups of four;
All good things fade
To come no more.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Henry Taylor


Times may change,
Fashions alter,
But for the
Perfect Shave,
Men always
Ought'er,
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Select a path
That's lightly graveled
When grass obscures
The road less
traveled.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Henry Taylor


Born on a mountain,
Raised in a cave,
To get any lovin',
He'll need
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Nathan Burroughs


Shaving Power?
We unlock it!
Tough on Whiskers,
Easy on Pocket.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Perfect Shaves
Ain't Rocket Science.
We're Just Talkin'
Cream Appliance.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Around the gates,
Ignored the train's horn!
Now he won't see,
His grandkids born!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Kevin W. Hecteman - Burlingame, CA USA


To gain her heart,
You must begin,
With something smooth,
Why not your chin?
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Mike Wheeler


Check your door locks.
Check your lights.
Brush Shavers prowl,
This road at night.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


No brush with death,
But a very close shave.
For bristly whiskers,
A certain grave.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


We've left the highways
But don't forget
To read our verse
By the side
Of the net.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Paul Lindemeyer


She said, I hate
To burst your bubble,
But I want smooth,
You offer stubble.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Mike Wheeler
In light of the limited return of the Burma Shave signs to the roadways:


To put back these signs
He said with a grin
Will make both shaving and driving
Worth it again
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Lary Brown


Siskel and Ebert
rant and rave
It's 2 thumbs up
for
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Kyra, age 14


Dad, your beard
Is awfully hairy . . .
Actually,
It's kinda scary!
Won't you PLEASE
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Elizabeth J. Weiss


If smooth, soft skin
Is what you crave;
then, lather-up...
with
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: M.J. Farmer-Reilly


Grab Pa's Razor
And don't be late.
You can scratch
your head
But not your date!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Mike Wheeler


Extra! Extra!
Stubble Attacked!
Whiskers Creamed!
Never Fought Back!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


Is it man?
Is it beast?
I'd hate to guess,
To say the least.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: crobinson@viperlink.net


Hairy Mammoths
Are extinct.
No coincidence,
We think.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Brian Buckner


If your wife
Does not Rave,
You're Not
Using
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Courtney Devine


Werewolf howls,
he looks a fright!
His face a dreadful hairy sight.
No girl will tuck him in at night.
He needs a.......
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Karma Wilson


Freshly shaved!
Really smooth!
A little music,
And he's in the groove....
with
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Dalanne Wilson


Whiskers that tickled,
His significant other,
Now he's living,
Back home with Mother.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Steve Piper


Sorry, son.
No car tonight!
Ma bought this cream,
and it feels just right!
Don't wait up.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: mratajko@agso.gov.au


My son is lost
in cyberspace,
His whiskers grow
upon his face.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: casdeb@li.net


Lincoln's beard
Was on the penny.
That's because
He hadn't any
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Elizabeth J. Allen.


Aggressive drivers,
Full of strife,
Vent their anger,
Lose their life.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Norm Burnett.


Thick head of hair
Lady's thriller.
Thick face of hair
Lady killer.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Sally Lancaster.


Flying by at speed of light,
Life without a care:
Seat belts buckled safe and tight?
or idly lying there?
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Susan G. Rager.
see her web site.


A nickel bag
When I was young
Meant two jawbreakers
And a piece of gum
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Clinton Odell Robinson.


Cyber-whiz
On Internet
Forgot to shave;
He's solo yet!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Susan G. Rager.
see her web site.


With a sigh
With a glance
A smoldering look
A sultry dance
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: D. Bernard.


He revved it up
Put it in high gear
Now his widow's saying
"Goodbye, dear."
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Dale M. Cannon.


Around the curves
Two wheels won't make it
To save your car
You'll have to brake it
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Serena.


It's on my face
It's under my nose
with Burma Shave
Everything goes!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: anonymous


Starving actor
Ted E. Bear
talent, poise, debonair
had all of these
but too much hair!
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Sally.


Unstrapped he flew;
Thru windshield sent;
And now his wings
Are permanent.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Martin H. Booda.


It's so easy,
It's no trouble.
Lose that stubble
On the double.
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Alan Gallauresi.


He used to be
a derma slave,
but now he's cured
with
BURMA SHAVE!

Submitted by: Wendy Lee Klenetsky.

Girls turned Jake down
One after another.
He Burma Shaved.
Now Jake's a lover!
Burma Shave!

Submitted by: Marianne Stevens.

Her man's whiskers
no longer faze her
he's thrown away
his electric razor
Burma shave!

Submitted by: Robert Shafer.

Whenever you drink
Stay in your abode!
The life of the party's
The death of the road!
Burma shave!

Submitted by: Barbara.

Can't think of what
to buy him?
something to make him rave?
What better way to do it,
than with soothing
Burma shave!

Submitted by: sheri@alpha.shianet.org.

If surfin'
is your kinda thing,
you like to catch
the wave?
Make sure your face
is stream lined
and reach for
Burma shave!

Submitted by: sheri@alpha.shianet.org.

I lived out West
My beard was best!
I moved to the city.
Hair on my face
was a real disgrace.
Burma shave!

Submitted by: lessol@new-ls.lightspeed.net.

Your love life
going down the drain?
People stare at your chin,
in pain?
The connection?
your complexion!
Burma shave!

Submitted by: Jessica Faulds.

Your Sweetheart
Will firmly state
A scratchy chin
Will scratch
Your date
Burma Shave!

Submitted by: Mike Waterman.

His razor swished,
His face now shorn,
His whiskers fell
Quite forlorn.
Burma Shave!

Submitted by: Tony Curtis.

If you look
like Barney Rubble,
Let Burma Shave
take off that
stubble.

Submitted by: Maureen Franotovich.

Give your sweet
a valentine treat.
Shave off the beard
and be real neat.
Burma Shave!

Submitted by: Suzanne Lanoue.

You no longer
live in a cave.
Treat your face
to
Burma Shave!

Submitted by: Laura Susan Beach of Riverview, Florida.

Kentucky is
a marvelous state
in which to
await your fate!
Burma Shave!

Submitted by: Duane Bristow of Albany, Kentucky.

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Last revised July 19, 2002.

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Duane Bristow (oldky@kyphilom.com)

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All contents copyright (C) 2001, Duane Bristow. All rights reserved.