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Computer Taglines and Error Messages

Computer Error Messages


  I really love these very calm Haiku-ish fatal-error messages.

 =======
IMAGINE IF INSTEAD OF CRYPTIC, GEEKY TEXT STRINGS, YOUR
COMPUTER PRODUCED ERROR MESSAGES IN HAIKU...


     A file that big?

     It might be very useful.

     But now it is gone.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     The Web site you seek

     cannot be located but

     endless others exist


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     Chaos reigns within.

     Reflect, repent, and reboot.

     Order shall return.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     ABORTED effort:

     Close all that you have.

     You ask way too much.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     First snow, then silence.

     This thousand dollar screen dies

     so beautifully.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     With searching comes loss

     and the presence of absence:

     "My Novel" not found.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     The Tao that is seen

     Is not the true Tao, until

     You bring fresh toner.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     Windows NT crashed.

     I am the Blue Screen of Death.

     No one hears your screams.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     Stay the patient course

     Of little worth is your ire

     The network is down


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     A crash reduces

     your expensive computer

     to a simple stone.


    - - - - - - - - - - - -


     Yesterday it worked

     Today it is not working

     Windows is like that


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     Three things are certain:

     Death, taxes, and lost data.

     Guess which has occurred.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     You step in the stream,

     but the water has moved on.

     This page is not here.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     Out of memory.

     We wish to hold the whole sky,

     But we never will.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     Having been erased,

     The document you're seeking

     Must now be retyped.


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     Rather than a beep

     Or a rude error message,

     These words: "File not found."


     - - - - - - - - - - - -


     Serious error.

     All shortcuts have disappeared.

     Screen. Mind. Both are blank.

_____________________

Computer Taglines

!WARNING! COLDBEER.CAN found. Programmer probably loaded again.
"Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers
"he's just a girly-man programmer"....
**====< Real Programmers Practice Safe HEX <====**
*REAL* programmers use COPY CON to create Windows apps.
.ASM programmers drive stick shifts.
A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.
A programmer and his mind are soon parted
A programmer's work is never done THANKS TO THE LEECHES!
A programmer's work is never done. <Sigh!<
A real programmer's girlfriend wears a G$.
ADA PROGRAMMERS do it in packages
AI programmers only think they do it
ALGOL PROGRAMMERS block it out
APL PROGRAMMERS are functional
APL PROGRAMMERS do it backwards
APL PROGRAMMERS do it in a line
APL PROGRAMMERS do it with stile
APL programmers do it in the workspace.
APL programmers do it with stile.
ASSEMBLER PROGRAMMERS do it one-to-one
AWP: Argue With Programmer
All programmers are optimists.
All programmers are playwrights and all computers are lousy actors.
All programmers want arrays!
Assembly programmers do it a byte at a time.
Assembly programmers only get a little bit to play with.
BASIC PROGRAMMERS GOTO it
BASIC PROGRAMMERS do it all over the place
BASIC programmers never die, they GOSUB without RETURN
BELL LABS PROGRAMMERS do it with UNIX
BIT: n. unit by which programmers go insane
BPIM: Bury Programmer In Manuals
BUFFER:  A nude Programmer.
Back off man! I'm a programmer...
Become a programmer - crash your computer for a living!
Become a programmer and never see the world!!
Before, I cudnt spel programmer; now, I are one.
Beware of programmers carrying screwdrivers
C PROGRAMMERS SWITCH and then BREAK it
C PROGRAMMERS SWITCH often
C PROGRAMMERS continue it
C PROGRAMMERS do it with their nose in a manual.
C Programmers do it with models!
C Programmers do it with the LARGE model!
C program run, C program crash, C programmer cry.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer get drunk.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer quit.
C program run. C program crash. C programmer throw up.
C programmers do it in a structured manner, sometimes.
C programmers don't have the BASIC instincts.
C++ PROGRAMMERS do it with class
C++ PROGRAMMERS do it with private members and public objects
C++ PROGRAMMERS do it with their friends, in private
C++ Programmers are proud of their Private Parts.
C++ programmers earns money by inheritence.
C:\PROGRAM, C:\PROGRAM\RUN, C:\PROGRAM\BOMB, C:\PROGRAMMER\BUY.UZI
CLOSED CAPTIONED IN HEX FOR PROGRAMMERS   A0 EF 97 9F B0 4C ...
COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it very slow
COBOL PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs
COBOL programmers are self-documenting.
COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods
COBOL programmers wanted. (quick lighting pref.)
COMPUTER PROGRAMMER WANTED -- Some Assembly Required
COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS do it bit by bit
COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS do it interactively
COMPUTER PROGRAMMERS do it logically
CP: Compliment Programmer
CPM: Change Programmer's Mind
CPN: Call Programmer Names
Caffeine Allocation Error: ROOTBEER.SYS missing, Programmer halted.
Caution! Programmer at work.
Christmas & Halloween confuse programmers: DEC 25, OCT 31
Cobol programmers are down in the dumps.
Code: (n.) a means of concealing bugs favored by programmers.
Coffee not found -- Programmer Halted!
Coffee sweetened with NO-DOZ...Programmers petrol!
Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.
Computer programmers know how to use their hardware.
Computer programmers never die, they compile.
Conceptual programmer:  One who writes code for the 80686.
DEPROGRAMMERS do it with sects
DKP: Disavow Knowledge of Programmer
DPMI: Declare Programmer Mentally Incompetent
Dammit Jim - I'm a programmer, not a doctor!
Dammit, Jim! I'm a doctor, not a Computer Programmer!
Do Programmers eat ASCII crackers?
Dumb programmers use FORTRAN PROGRAM.FOR
EP: Execute Programmer
EPI: Execute Programmer Immediate
Error 256: Programmer Deleted.
FORTH PROGRAMMERS do it from behind
FORTRAN PROGRAMMERS do it with SOAP
FORTRAN PROGRAMMERS just DO it
FORTRAN programmers do it with double precision.
Fatal Database Error #10070: Programmer late for work!
Female programmers get their bits twiddled.
First, we'll kill all the programmers
GDP: Grin Defiantly at Programmer
GNU PROGRAMMERS do it for free and they don't give a damn about look & feel
Good Programmers type copy con Program.exe
Hacker: Exceptional programmer. Webster's 9th., 1991
Have you hugged a programmer today?
He is no dummy. He is my programmer!
I blame the Programmer myself !!
I'm a computer programmer for the Amish.
I'm a programmer, I don't do COBOL.
I'm not a programmer but I play one on TV...
I'm not the fastest programmer, but I'm the most carefull
IMBP: Insert Mistake and Blame Programmer
IPM: Ignore Programmer's Mistakes
If at first you don't succeed, you must be a programmer.
Instant Programmer: Just add caffine
JNL: Jump when programmer is Not Looking
JSP: Jump on Sexy Programmer
Just a 2 bit programmer on a 32 bit machine.
KPR: Kill PRogrammer
LAP: Laugh At Programmer
LISP PROGRAMMERS do it by recursion
LISP PROGRAMMERS do it without unexpected side effects
LISP PROGRAMMERS have to stop and collect garbage
LOGIC PROGRAMMERS do it with unification/resolution
LPA: Lead Programmer Astray
Let the programmers be many and the managers few. Tao of Programming.
MAC PROGRAMMERS do it in windows
MAC's Place BBS home of the C & C++ Programmer
MACHINE LANGUAGE PROGRAMMERS do it very fast
MASOCHIST: Windows SDK programmer with a smile!
MTP: MounT Programmer
Macho Programmers Use Edlin.
Make way!, Make way!, A PROGRAMMER HAS ARRIVED!!
Managing programmers is like herding cats.
Masochist: Windows programmer with a smile!
Me hav'em heap trouble. - Tonto the programmer
NecroARMicon - dead C++ programmers reference
OPP: Order Pizza for Programmer
Old programmers never die, they get updated!
Old programmers never die. They just branch to a new address.
Old programmers never die. They just lose their byte.
Old programmers never die; they exit to a higher shell.
PASCAL PROGRAMMERS REPEAT it
PASCAL PROGRAMMERS do it with indentations.
PASCAL programmers are better structured.
PASCAL programmers are blind - they do not "C"!
PLUS PROGRAMMERS cycle forever, until you make them exit
PNRP: Print Nasty Replies to Programmer
PPP: Print Programmer's Picture
PROFANITY: The language all programmers know.
PROGRAMMERS cycle forever, until you make them exit
PROGRAMMERS do it all night
PROGRAMMERS do it bottom-up
PROGRAMMERS do it by pushing and popping
PROGRAMMERS do it in higher levels
PROGRAMMERS do it in iteration.
PROGRAMMERS do it in software
PROGRAMMERS do it on command
PROGRAMMERS do it top down
PROGRAMMERS do it with bugs
PROGRAMMERS do it with disks
PROGRAMMERS do it with their fingers.
PROGRAMMERS have: Bigger disks
PROGRAMMERS peek before they poke
PROGRAMMERS repeat it until done
PROGRAMMERS will do it all night, but only if you are debugged
PROLOG PROGRAMMERS are a cut above the rest
Profanity is the language most programmers know best
Programmer (n): One who makes the lies the salesman told come true.
Programmer on Computer
Programmer's Oxymoron: Spare-Time
Programmer: One who is too lacking in people skills to be a software engineer.
Programmers "C" it differently!
Programmers Use Extended Memory!
Programmers assemble!
Programmers do it by pushing and popping.
Programmers do it in Turbo!
Programmers do it in loops.
Programmers do it in many languages.
Programmers do it in software
Programmers do it right the first time!
Programmers do it top down.
Programmers do it with a Hard Drive!
Programmers do it with algo-rithyms!
Programmers do it with numbers!
Programmers do it with objects
Programmers don't Byte,they just Nybble a bit
Programmers don't get sniffles, they get a CODE.
Programmers don't repeat themselves, they LOOP
Programmers get overlayed
Programmers give more input/output!
Programmers have a higher baud rate!
Programmers have random access memory!
Programmers love dual floppies!
Programmers love their tools!
Programmers stick to the BASICs!
Programmers take bigger Bytes!
Programmers will do it all night, but only if you are debugged.
RAMsom, what you pay to sloppy programmers.
REAL programmers have keyboard dents in their foreheads
REAL programmers use undocumented DOS calls
REAL programmers write 4K GUIs.
REAL programmers write self-modifying code.
REP: Randomly Execute Programmers
RISC ASSEMBLY PROGRAMMERS do it 1073741824 times a second
RPM: Read Programmer's Mind
Real Programmers Collect Lint.
Real Programmers Don't Write Games!
Real Programmers aren't afraid to use GOTO's.
Real Programmers call bugs "undocumented features"
Real Programmers do it on the console panel.
Real Programmers like vending-machine popcorn.
Real Programmers think better when playing Adventure or Rogue.
Real Programmers use DEBUG C:\DOSFILES\PROGRAM.EXE
Real Programmers use Patch Cords!
Real Users hate Real Programmers.
Real programmers aren't.
Real programmers do all their DTP work in DEBUG.
Real programmers don't change light bulbs.
Real programmers don't have floppy disks.
Real programmers don't use flowcharts.]
Real programmers ignore schedules.
Real programmers innovate, others LITIGATE !
Real programmers practice safe HEX
Real programmers use "cat < a.out".
Real programmers use MASM PROGRAM.ASM
Real programmers use TCC PROGRAM.CPP...error...error...er\COMM
Real programmers use punched cards.
Real programmers wrote game theory.
Runtime error: Next time don't pay the programmer up front
S/He who uses bad language must be an R:BASE programmer!
SLEEP? I'm a programmer!
SMALLTALK PROGRAMMERS have more methods
STOP!!  Come any closer and the programmer gets it!!
SYSTEMS PROGRAMMERS keep it up longer
Silly programmer!  Turbo's for kidz!
Slow programmers Prog-crastinate....
Smalltalk programmers have more methods.
Software Error: Programmer Held. Finish all activities
Sub-titled in HEX for programmers
Systems programmers are the high priests of a low cult.  -- R. S. Barton
TPDH: Tell Programmer to Do it Himself
Tagline error.  Contact your systems programmer.
The computer is mightier than the pen, the sword, and usually, the programmer.
The determined programmer can write a FORTRAN program in any language.
UNIX PROGRAMMERS must C her's
USER: A programmer who will believe anything you tell him.
Unable to locate Mt.Dew.Com - Programmer halted!
User (n): technical term used by programmers - see idiot.
VM PROGRAMMERS do it virtualy all the time
Voodoo Programming:  Things programmers do that they know
WARNING!  Programmer X-ing
WARNING: Programmer at play
WPM: Write Programmer's Mind
Wire Puller: (n), A seasoned 1004 programmer
XPR: eXecute PRogrammer
XSP: eXecute Systems Programmer
Young programmers are the best! [and the cockiest]
realprogrammersdontusespacespunctuationorcaps
why_do_c_programmers_type_like_this(char *FAR OUT);

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Last revised May 8, 1998.

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