They say that French President Mitterrand has 100 lovers.
One has AIDS, but he doesn't know which one.  President Bush
of the United States has 100 bodyguards.  One is a terrorist, 
but he doesn't know which one.  President Gorbachev of the
USSR has 100 economic advisers.  One is smart but he doesn't
know which one.

For those of you considering a vacation soon, you may be interested to know
that attorney season is now open in Nevada.  Applicable regulations are as
follows:

1. Any person with a valid Nevada hunting license may harvest attorneys.

2. Attorneys may be taken with traps and deadfalls.  Currency may not be
   used as bait.

3. Attorneys may not be killed with motorized vehicles.  If accidentally
   struck, the hunter should move the carcass to the roadside, and proceed
   to a car wash.

4. It is unlawful to chase, herd, or harvest attorneys from a snowmobile,
   helicopter, or aircraft.

5. It is unlawful to shout "WHIPLASH," "AMBULANCE," or "FREE SCOTCH" for the
   purpose of attracting attorneys.

6. It is unlawful to hunt attorneys within 100 yards of BMW or Mercedes
   dealerships.

7. It is unlawful to disguise oneself as a reporter, drug dealer, female law
  clerk, sheep, accident victim, physician, bookie, or tax accountant for the
  purpose of hunting attorneys.

Hunters should be cautious to obey the applicable laws.  Failure to do so
could decimate the crop, and reduce the available supply of cheap three-piece
suits and slime that proper dressing of attorneys yields.

The prior concern over the endangerment of the subspecies known as the "Honest
Lawyer" is an example of this.  This subspecies is now considered to be
extinct.

Good hunting!

I've pointed out to the poster of this info. that most of it is incorrect. For
example, it is ALWAYS open season on attorneys....


                                               NEWS REPORT 29
                                               25 May 1989 IBM ANNOUNCES
EXTENDED MOUSE SUPPORT


 ESD PRODUCT SERVICE SUPPORT
 SUBJECT: NEW RETAIN TIP

 Record number:       H013944
 Device:              D/T8550
 Model:               M
 Hit Count:           UHC00000
 Success count:       USC0000
 Publication code:    PC50
 Tip key:             025
 Date created:        089/02/14
 Date last altered:   089/02/15
 Owning B.U.:         USA

Abstract:  MOUSE BALLS NOW AVAILABLE AS FRU

Mouse balls are now available as a Field Replacement Unit (FRU). If a mouse
fails to operate, or should perform erratically, it may be in need of a ball
replacement. Because of the delicate nature of this procedure, replacement of
mouse balls should be attempted by trained personnel only.

Before ordering, determine type of mouse balls required by examining the
underside of each mouse. Domestic balls will be larger and harder than foreign
balls. Ball removal procedures differ, depending upon manufacturer of the
mouse. Foreign balls can be replaced using the pop-off method, and domestic
balls replaced using the twist-off method. Mouse balls are not usually static
sensitive, however excess handling can result in sudden discharge. Upon
completion of ball replacement, the mouse may be used immediately.

It is recommended that each servicer have a pair of balls for maintaining
optimum customer satisfaction and that any customer missing his balls should
suspect local personnel of removing these necessary functional items.

P/N N33F8462 - Domestic Mouse Balls P/N N33F8461 - Foreign Mouse Balls

SAS Keywords:
 PSY2         8525SYSMISC   8530SYSMISC    8550SYSMISC
 8560SYSMISC  8570SYSMISC   8580SYSMISC

ESD PRODUCT SERVICE SUPPORT, BOCA RATON, FL.