L;INTERNET:oracle@cs.indiana.edu;O' Oracle tell me O' mighty Oracle at a sophisticated place called Indiana where the great super highways both automobile and info run right by. I live in a rural relatively unsophisticated area far to your south. Here we have no super highways. We got a few roads and a lot of paths. We heard that once there were railroads that came and went in the rest of the country but we never had one. Mostly, to get anywhere we have to go somewhere else to start. We been hearing about this new fangled info super highway and we thought maybe someday we could get one of them but it will probably be a while, if ever. Anyway, we thought maybe because of your wisdom and ability to see clearly in the future what to most is but a murky haze, you could tell us if there is any future in this Internet thing, how we might get one, and maybe what you thought about the possiblities of putting up a truck stop or, at least, a rest area on it. We heard it had a lot of gophers and webs and we got plenty of them here already, so that might help. We also heard it had several comic book characters and didn't know whut to make of that. Sincerely, Your disenfranchised supplicant. -------------------- The (hillbilly) Oracle Replies ----------------------- Bubba! iZ that yew? I haddn herd nuthin frum yew in, whut, maybbe 20, 30 year now? Mercy, goodness chiild, mmmmmMMMMMmm shore good t'hear frum yew. I don't know if yew heard or not, Billy-Ray done gone into pol'tics. Yew 'member him? He was the little stupid kid that kep' kissin' up to the teacher an' EVER' OTHER female in sight. He done right well for himse'f. Married that she-devil, Hillary. Yew 'member her, doncha? She's th' one that yewz 't threaten us with marriage and had the weirdest way of talkin' 'bout be'in a rich lawyer 'n whatnot. Billy-Ray done got himself elected -- get this ! -- PRESIDENT of these cheer YEW-nited STATES. Not only THAT, but he done been REELECTED! Can you believe that? As to yer question, I definitely see a REAL possibility in this Internet dealie. I think it will really catch on. I'd say yew oughta practice a few things to git reddy for it. Have Sally-May and Jenny-Fay chunck a stick o' wood around with yew. Keep askin' each other stupid questions like: "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" and the like. I know that yew hate woodchucks jes' like I do, but these folks are CRAZY for the little vermin. If yew get really good at answerin' stupid stuff, maybe you could help me in my job. Yer gonna get yer Internet come fall o' 1999. Don't be the first one on and (do me a little favor) don't use that Americans On Line thingy. The other folk usin' the Internet will thing you are a blasted idiot if you do. Normally, I charge for such high powered information, but, shoot, yer practicly kin. -- From: "Brantley W. Hudson"